Things you shouldn’t say to a pregnant woman: A review

16 May

I’ve read these lists in various books and internet sites about the things you shouldn’t say to pregnant women and I laugh, thinking to myself, “People don’t really say these things!  Ha ha!  Hee Hee!”.  Well, news flash–people DO say these things.  I offer this blog as a lesson of sorts.  Please don’t ever say these things to a pregnant woman.

1.  DO NOT COMMENT ON HER WEIGHT!!  This one seems obvious, but apparently it is not.  Here are some examples of how this conversation could go down.  Purely rhetorical, of course!

Uninformed person (UP): “How’s married life?”
Prego: “Good!  I’m pregnant!”
UP: “Well, that is kinda why I asked about your married life.  I know when my marriage was falling apart I got fat!”

The tricky thing about people indirectly (directly) calling a prego fat is that she usually won’t see it coming.  The logical response to this conversation would be “Congratulations!” but instead you get a fat comment.  One of two feelings will rise to the surface for the prego–rage or overwhelming desire to break into tears.  Neither one of which you want to be around for.  TRUST.

Let’s look at another example:

UP: Why can’t you take any medication for your allergies?
Prego: “Because I am pregnant!”
UP: “I thought you were looking a little pudgy.”

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??

Again, these are rhetorical situations.  Any semblance to a conversation you have had with a prego are purely coincidence.

2.  DO NOT ASK “WERE YOU TRYING??”  Since when is it OK for relative strangers to talk about their sex lives?  It’s not like I go around to non-prego’s and ask “Did you use protection last night?”  Here’s the thing–I’m married and I’m pregnant–YOU DO THE MATH!!  And what is the right answer to this question?  Does anyone know?  I am thinking of screwing with people.  Some answers I have come up with:
–“Trying for what?”
–“I was trying, but my husband wasn’t.  In fact, I should probably tell him.”
–“I’m actually a virgin.  I’m heading to the Vatican tomorrow.”

There are other things that tend to get a little tedious 20 times a day.  This is not to say that you can’t ask these things, just know that the prego may be (REALLY) sick of these questions.  I will give you my answers here to save you from having to ask me later.  If you can, try to come up with some more creative things to talk about.
–“Do you know what you are having?”  I am only 15 weeks here, people.  If we do find out, it won’t be until June, but we haven’t decided yet.
“Do you know what you want?”  I want a baby.  Need I say more?
“Do you have any names picked out?”  Nope.  And depending how close you are to me, there’s a good chance I won’t share them with you when we do.
“Are you excited?”  Ummm…really? 

Ok.  I hope this little review session helped with any questions you may have.

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4 Responses to “Things you shouldn’t say to a pregnant woman: A review”

  1. Shayla May 16, 2009 at 7:58 pm #

    Maybe you should have waited a bit to tell the patients!!!! I think that I would react the same way as you are. I personaly do not like to make a big deal out of things and I hate rhetorical questions too…

    • michgal18 May 17, 2009 at 7:46 am #

      I DID wait…until I started showing a little bit. They didn’t know officially until like 12-13 weeks plus. Whatev! Like I said though, if it happens again, there is a good chance I won’t be able to maintain my professional behavior. Seriously. Not that these are true stories. Rhetorical, purely rhetorical.

  2. workout mommy January 25, 2011 at 10:13 am #

    oh, how i can relate! this time around i have had people say the most awful comments, including “are you going to keep it?”

    REALLY?!!

    • michgal18 January 25, 2011 at 10:46 am #

      Wait–you are prego again? I didn’t catch that in your blog, unless I missed something??? Well–congrats!!! “are you going to keep it??” That might take the cake!

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