Sunshine, Rainbows, and Butterflies…

15 Mar

You all know how sickingly happy I have been lately.  I know my blogs have been all sunshine-y and smiley and probably really annoying.  Well, here’s one for those of you who are tired of all my cute & happy baby talk.

I (shockingly) have no desire to complain about my life right now, but Holy Hell, I AM TIRED.  I am apprehensive to even discuss this because I do not want it to be misconstrued in any way that I am complaining about my son or even my situation.  I am just so stinkin’ tired.  To be honest, if this is my only “complaint” then I will take it.  Plenty of my mom blogger friends have been open with their battles with post-partum depression and I consider myself so lucky to just be talking about being tired. 

Carson is a super baby.  I am not kidding.  I feel I can objectively tell you he is a wonderfully easy baby.  I am just trying to figure out how to work through our nights.  We are currently getting up around two times a night.  Carson goes to bed around 6:30 and usually wakes up between 11-12 and 2-3.  With our new morning routine, he also seems to be waking up around 5ish, but will tend to go back to bed until 6 or later after being fed.  I really wouldn’t have even complained about our night schedule prior to going back to work.  But this work thing has changed everything. 

It has really amazed me what your body can get used to.  I mean, before Carson I could tell you that without an alarm clock, my body liked 10 hours of sleep.  TEN HOURS!  Now?  Ha!  I couldn’t even tell you how much sleep I am getting, but I can tell you how much sleep I am NOT getting!!  (and again…to be clear, I would stay up all night with Little Man if I had to…but…)

So, when does this sleep through the night thing happen?  I know this is a hot topic, to cry it out, not cry it out, blah de blah de blah…I don’t know the answer.  I just want to sleep for one whole night.  The last time that happened?  October 21st.  That was a long-ass time ago.  I am not sure if I want to open myself up to suggestions or not…but have it, folks.   

And I promise to be back to sunshine, rainbows, and butterflies before you know it…if you can get me one night of uninterrupted bliss sleep.


5 Responses to “Sunshine, Rainbows, and Butterflies…”

  1. Alex March 15, 2010 at 8:29 pm #

    So glad things are going well, Michelle! And, honestly. tiredness is just the pits no matter how great everything else is. Remember, sleep deprivation is a method of torture!

    Honestly, I have really strong feelings on CIO so not sure whether I should open my trap here, but there are many studies out there which suggest that it has very negative effects. I can send you some links, etc if you’re interested.

    As for getting more sleep… well, I cant remember I slept more than 6 hours in a row, and mostly I am awake several times a night. It is difficult when I’m working but I remind myself that it’s not going to last forever, that soon enough Raf will be sleeping through the night.

    That said, you do need sleep and I wonder if your husband can step up and do all the night feedings so that you can get a night sleep in 🙂

    • michgal18 March 15, 2010 at 8:41 pm #

      Well, the funny thing about the night feedings….as much as I want to sleep…I also want to be the one to feed him!! The hubbs said he would do a bottle a night, but then I think I would probably have to pump anyways. If I start losing my mind completely though, maybe I can give him one night!! 🙂

  2. Traci March 15, 2010 at 9:03 pm #

    Hey Michelle,
    Yes, CIO is a hot topic, you’re right. Everyone has to do what they feel is best for them, their child, and their situation. I forget exactly how old Carson is, but for ME, the book ‘Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child’ by Marc Weissbluth was a blessing. It’s not too hard core, but the author does have the philosophy that going into our children at night (not when they’re newborns, of course) is not doing them any favors. It keeps them from learning the valuable skill of soothing themselves. I found that to be true for both of my boys. It broke my heart to let Cole (my first) cry it out, but it was only one night, and then after that he didn’t wake in the middle of the night anymore and I knew I had done the right thing for all of us. For some it takes a few nights, regardless of age (this includes kids old enough to get out of bed – returning them to their own bed, etc.) and for some like us, it takes less. We were lucky. I truly believe that my children know I am there when they need me to be there, but once they were old enough that they didn’t need ‘food’ in the middle of the night (over 6 months) it was best for everyone that I didn’t go into them. Again, I will be the first to tell you that it wasn’t easy. Nobody wants to hear their child cry. But once I realized it was more of a habit, and not a ‘need’, I got over the guilt and they learned to sleep through the night. Motherhood is full of guilt, so be kind to yourself, give yourself a break, and do what you think is best. Hang in there and good luck!!

    • michgal18 March 15, 2010 at 9:12 pm #

      I actually did read that book, Traci…I just have a hard time with letting him cry, especially at night for some reason. I know with his naps, he will only cry for about 5-10 minutes at the 45 min mark before he sleeps for another hour. That makes sense to me…5 minutes of crying for another hour of sleep, he wins, I win. The nighttime isn’t as easy though, or as clear cut. Plus I can’t see the stupid clock and the hubbs doesn’t even flinch. I am going to get a projection clock, so I can see the time…and then we will see how we do. Thanks for your feedback! 🙂

  3. Tara March 15, 2010 at 9:26 pm #

    The reality of being awake multiple times at night really catches up to you when you are back to work. There are days I remember feeling very “blue” thanks to lack of sleep. (Honestly it still happens about once a month with colds & ear infections!) But, I will say that I am not a fan of CIO for young infants either. It is so tough to hear your breastfeeding baby cry when you know you can stop it instantly! This is why my guys ended up sleeping with me…it made everything faster & more accessible at night.

    Cy does sleep through the night in his crib now, but it took some time and patience. I learned with him that a lot of his night waking was habit. I bet you could start to settle him without one of those feedings…or try to let him settle himself. My mom started to give my youngest sister a bottle of warm water instead of bfeeding her. She stopped waking up for it after 2 nights and slept through the night after that.

    Trust yourself though…the time will arrive when you get to sleep all night again. Just when you get used to that it will be time for number 2!

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