Tag Archives: baby love

Gummy Bear Baby is Already Neglected

18 Jan

The first time around, being pregnant absolutely consumed me.  It consumed my every thought, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  Well, this time…there are whole hours that pass where I forget that I am growing a baby.  It’s so different.  I want to give 100% focus to Gummy Bear Baby, but I also want to give 100% focus to my 15 month old.  Clearly, this doesn’t add up.  Not to mention all the working and wife-ing I am also supposed to be doing.

Needless to say, Gummy Bear Baby gets forgotten sometimes.  I don’t know how, but it happens.  Considering the fact that in seven-ish months, Gummy Bear Baby is going to essentially ruin Carson’s life, I am trying to give him as much love and attention as possible.  Which isn’t that much different than any other day.  Except that Gummy Bear Baby gets occasionally neglected.

The second time is different.  We know what we are in for this time.  What we don’t know is how the 22 month old we will be residing with will respond.  He thinks babies are great when they aren’t his, when they aren’t taking up the time of his two favorite people in the whole wide world.

It’s going to be an interesting ride…


Dear Carson: ONE YEAR!!

23 Oct

Dear Carson–

You are big ONE YEAR OLD!  My brain is grappling with where the time went.  It is so bittersweet, because I can’t help thinking if this year went so fast, what is going to happen with all your other years?  I can honestly say, though, that I feel like I cherished each and every minute of this first year. 

I have spent a lot of time thinking back to this day last year.  I came home from work on a Thursday night not thinking much about your arrival.  I was thinking more about the fact that Friday (your birthday) was to be my last day of work.  I was thinking about the supposed 2 weeks of time off I had before you came and all the things I wanted to do.  Then I woke up at midnight…with contractions!  You couldn’t wait to join us, and nine hours later our lives were forever changed for the better (I will spare you the rest of the details).   It is so funny to me that I walked into the hospital one person and left a completely different, and better person.

You are spent the last year developing into the most amazing little man I have ever met.  I can’t believe what you are capable of, physically and mentally.  At this point, you are like a little human sponge.  I can teach you a new sign nearly every day or every other day and you are using it correctly.  Some people laugh at using sign language, but if we didn’t do it, I wouldn’t know anything that was going on in that little head of yours.  Because of signing, I know when you are hungry, when you want milk, I know that you love to listen to the birds outside…I know that there is so much going on with you that I otherwise would not be privy too.  It has definitely opened up my eyes to what you are capable of and how aware of your surroundings you are. 

I know that it was your Daddy’s and my decision to bring you into this world…but I honestly cannot thank you enough for coming.  You have taught me to be a better person.  You have taught me the real meaning of true love.  You have taught me that the world around me is a pretty cool place if I stop to look.  You have taught me to be more understanding and less judgemental.  You have taught me that I am capable of so much more than I ever knew.  You have taught me to believe in myself and my decisions–you are living proof that I am making the right choices everyday. 

You have absolutely blown my world away.  I love you so much for being you and for all you bring to me and your Daddy.  My heart is too small to contain my love.  I truly cannot wait to see what the next year will bring.  I know you will continue to amaze me and make me proud every single day.

I love you, I love you, I love you,


Dear Carson–Month 11

23 Sep

Dear Carson,

I absolutely cannot believe that I am a mom of an almost-one-year-old!  You are becoming such a big boy!

All of a sudden you are really starting to soak up everything you can.  You are learning all sorts of new signs–you now can sign “more”, “all done”, “eat”, “outside” and “book” and you understand the signs for “cat”, “bath”, “swing”, “cookie”, “cracker” and “milk”.  Every day I try to add a new sign to our communication and you seem to excited to learn.  You are also definitely working on your verbal communication.  Daddy and I think you are saying “ball” and I think you are also working on “cat”, “more”, and “fruit”.  You also say “mama” appropriately and are working on “Dada”.  It amazes me how much your language has changed in one month.

You are thisclose to walking.  I tell people that you are a very deliberate person.  It seems like you will not walk until you know that you can do it successfully.  You are definitely getting more confident in your mobility though.  I am certain you will be walking before your one-year birthday.

I have been getting ready for your big first birthday party.  One thing I have done is gone back and looked at your pictures over the past eleven months.  I cannot believe how much you have changed and evolved from this little dependent creature into a inquisitive and fun little boy.  You are so happy and you bring joy to everyone you meet.  I love when strangers comment on your smile, your eyes, your happiness.

This month you have started your separation anxiety phase.  When I leave you at daycare, you cry and fuss a little bit which absolutely breaks my heart.  At daycare they say you are such a Mama’s Boy and I love it.  I know there is a time, probably much sooner than I expect, when I am not going to be your favorite person anymore so I am soaking up every minute of your affection.

I seriously love watching you change from a little baby into a little boy.  Every day you amaze me with something new that you have learned.  You make each day better.  I am looking forward to seeing what more you can accomplish in the last month of your first year, I know the possibilities are endless. 

Lastly–I have my first half marathon coming up in just a few days and I want to thank you…if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be running this far.  You have opened me up to a whole new world of possibilities.  You have taught me what I am truly capable of.  You have inspired me to be the best and healthiest Mama I can be.  You have happily accompanied me on so many runs and made me better.  I will be racing for me and for you.

I love you, I love you, I love you!


Lessons Learned While On Vacation

20 Aug

1.  Water (ocean, pool, water table, tubby, glass big enough to fit a hand), swinging, and reading books can solve most problems that can’t be fixed with a nap.

2.  Poop in the water can make all the problems you were trying to fix come back.

3.  10-month olds can have very strong opinions about things.

4.  Children, unlike adults, can love absolutely unconditionally.  Get all you can while the gettin’s good.

5.  There is absolutely no better feeling in the world than being someone’s favorite person.

6.  Seeing your child’s brain starting to make sense of things is awesome! 

7.  Being proud of yourself starts at an early age.  Hopefully it sticks around for a while, too!

8.  Somehow, it is possible to love more everyday.

9.  It doesn’t really matter to your child if you have wrinkles in your forehead, gray hairs on your head, you didn’t do your hair and you kind of look like crap.  He is still just as happy as ever just to be with you, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

10.  I absolutely am not the mother who works because she needs that sphere to feel “complete”.  “Just” being a mom is the most complete I have ever felt.  Make no qualms about it, I work strictly to pay the bills. 

A whole week with this face? YES, PLEASE!!

Wordless Wednesday: Beach Bum

18 Aug

Dear Carson–Month 8

23 Jun

Dear Carson,

You are another month older!  This month actually seemed to go slower than the rest, which has been kind of nice.  I feel like I have had more time to enjoy you!  I spent some time today looking back at your old pictures and it still amazes me how much you have changed in such a short time.

This has been a big month for you, you have had a lot of new experiences and lot of firsts.  For your first Father’s Day, you decided to give your Daddy a new tooth!  And you are already working on another one.  You only had a few bad days with the teething, and even then you tried so hard to be a happy little boy.

You learned your first sign, “more”, this month.  I cannot wait for you to pick up on some of the other signs we have been working on.  I am so proud of you and am nothing short of amazed when you are able to tell me what you want.

You went swimming in the Lake at your grandparents for the first time this month (and the second time…and the third time…).  You LOVED it.  I am so happy that you are not afraid of the water.  I hope you are my little water bug.  You love swimming with me and Daddy and love lounging in your little raft.  I can’t wait to spend the rest of the summer in the water with you!!

You haven’t started crawling, but you sit and spin around and around which always makes me laugh.  You have started pulling yourself up from sitting onto your knees on your own.  When you play with me, you use me as a jungle gym and sometimes pull yourself all the way up to standing.  You seem much more adventurous and courageous when I am near by! 

Your personality and sense of humor develop more every day.  You have really started to take an interest in your books, especially your Touch and Feel animal books.  You laugh right out loud when you see the animals.  You enjoy digging in your toy box.  I am always entertained to see you looking in and making a conscious decision as to which toy you want to play with. 

One of our favorite things to do towards the end of this month has been picking and eating our blueberries and raspberries.  You sit so patiently in the yard waiting for me to come and deliver you some berry goodness. 

I spend a lot of time talking and watching other moms with little boys and I wonder what you will be like as you get older.  It does make me a little sad to think that some day, probably sooner than later, I will not be the center of your universe.  Even still, you will be the center of mine. 

I love to pass my days looking at the world through your eyes.  You have absolutely changed my outlook on the world around me.  Every decision that I make is made with you in mind and I hope you will someday know how I make it my goal each day to be the best Mommy I can be. 

There are big things ahead for you, Little Man.  Soon you will be on the move, your little gummy smile will be gone, and you will be learning more ways to communicate.  I am so proud of the person I see you becoming. 

I love you, I love you, I love you!


Happy Mother’s Day!!

9 May

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