Tag Archives: Motherhood

Things Are Sort Of Different, But Some Things are Kind Of The Same…

24 Jan

So, what is different the second time around (or not)?  Let’s hit up some bullet points…

  • As already stated, there may be HOURS that go by with you forgetting your pregnant.  Well, at least at this point when your belly is just mush and you aren’t technically “looking pregnant”, which leads me to the next bullet point…
  • Baby #2 thinks it is way cool to give you belly mush at like 8 weeks.  Great.
  • You don’t read every book and every thing you can possible get your hand on to tell you about your pregnancy.  Clearly, it is because you know everything this time around.  Also, you hardly have time to go to the bathroom.  Well you do, but chances are there is a toddler size person watching you/poking you/sitting on your lap while you do it.
  • You appreciate sleeping through the night SO MUCH MORE.  Sweet Jesus, there is a large part of me that is quite SICK thinking about a year (YEAR!!) of sleepless nights.  How in the holy hell did I already do that once?
  • You still hate all the stupid questions/comments that come out of people’s mouths.  And I haven’t really even gotten into the thick of it yet.  The thought of it is already annoying me.  For the last time, people–my intentions with my sex life IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!
  • Of course you are super excited about a new little baby nugget…but there is also this part of you that is seriously worried about any permanent psychological damage you may cause your first born when you totally rip apart his entire world….
  • You also feel a little guilty and sad because you LOVE to love your little man.  You are worried that he won’t get all the attention and love that he deserves.  And you are also worried that Gummy Bear Baby won’t get all the attention and love that s/he loves and deserves.
  • People don’t seem to care as much about you being pregnant this time.  I know I just said stop freaking bothering me with dumb questions–but maybe you should just ask me how I am doing.  Because I am hormonal.  And two minutes ago I wanted to kill you for breathing on me and now I want you to hug me.  But you better do it quick, or else I may cry.  And if I don’t cry, I may yell at you for hugging me.  I guess that part is the same as last time…


21 Jan

Two of these are supposed to be easy...right? RIGHT?

Dear Carson: ONE YEAR!!

23 Oct

Dear Carson–

You are big ONE YEAR OLD!  My brain is grappling with where the time went.  It is so bittersweet, because I can’t help thinking if this year went so fast, what is going to happen with all your other years?  I can honestly say, though, that I feel like I cherished each and every minute of this first year. 

I have spent a lot of time thinking back to this day last year.  I came home from work on a Thursday night not thinking much about your arrival.  I was thinking more about the fact that Friday (your birthday) was to be my last day of work.  I was thinking about the supposed 2 weeks of time off I had before you came and all the things I wanted to do.  Then I woke up at midnight…with contractions!  You couldn’t wait to join us, and nine hours later our lives were forever changed for the better (I will spare you the rest of the details).   It is so funny to me that I walked into the hospital one person and left a completely different, and better person.

You are spent the last year developing into the most amazing little man I have ever met.  I can’t believe what you are capable of, physically and mentally.  At this point, you are like a little human sponge.  I can teach you a new sign nearly every day or every other day and you are using it correctly.  Some people laugh at using sign language, but if we didn’t do it, I wouldn’t know anything that was going on in that little head of yours.  Because of signing, I know when you are hungry, when you want milk, I know that you love to listen to the birds outside…I know that there is so much going on with you that I otherwise would not be privy too.  It has definitely opened up my eyes to what you are capable of and how aware of your surroundings you are. 

I know that it was your Daddy’s and my decision to bring you into this world…but I honestly cannot thank you enough for coming.  You have taught me to be a better person.  You have taught me the real meaning of true love.  You have taught me that the world around me is a pretty cool place if I stop to look.  You have taught me to be more understanding and less judgemental.  You have taught me that I am capable of so much more than I ever knew.  You have taught me to believe in myself and my decisions–you are living proof that I am making the right choices everyday. 

You have absolutely blown my world away.  I love you so much for being you and for all you bring to me and your Daddy.  My heart is too small to contain my love.  I truly cannot wait to see what the next year will bring.  I know you will continue to amaze me and make me proud every single day.

I love you, I love you, I love you,


Dear Carson–Month 11

23 Sep

Dear Carson,

I absolutely cannot believe that I am a mom of an almost-one-year-old!  You are becoming such a big boy!

All of a sudden you are really starting to soak up everything you can.  You are learning all sorts of new signs–you now can sign “more”, “all done”, “eat”, “outside” and “book” and you understand the signs for “cat”, “bath”, “swing”, “cookie”, “cracker” and “milk”.  Every day I try to add a new sign to our communication and you seem to excited to learn.  You are also definitely working on your verbal communication.  Daddy and I think you are saying “ball” and I think you are also working on “cat”, “more”, and “fruit”.  You also say “mama” appropriately and are working on “Dada”.  It amazes me how much your language has changed in one month.

You are thisclose to walking.  I tell people that you are a very deliberate person.  It seems like you will not walk until you know that you can do it successfully.  You are definitely getting more confident in your mobility though.  I am certain you will be walking before your one-year birthday.

I have been getting ready for your big first birthday party.  One thing I have done is gone back and looked at your pictures over the past eleven months.  I cannot believe how much you have changed and evolved from this little dependent creature into a inquisitive and fun little boy.  You are so happy and you bring joy to everyone you meet.  I love when strangers comment on your smile, your eyes, your happiness.

This month you have started your separation anxiety phase.  When I leave you at daycare, you cry and fuss a little bit which absolutely breaks my heart.  At daycare they say you are such a Mama’s Boy and I love it.  I know there is a time, probably much sooner than I expect, when I am not going to be your favorite person anymore so I am soaking up every minute of your affection.

I seriously love watching you change from a little baby into a little boy.  Every day you amaze me with something new that you have learned.  You make each day better.  I am looking forward to seeing what more you can accomplish in the last month of your first year, I know the possibilities are endless. 

Lastly–I have my first half marathon coming up in just a few days and I want to thank you…if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be running this far.  You have opened me up to a whole new world of possibilities.  You have taught me what I am truly capable of.  You have inspired me to be the best and healthiest Mama I can be.  You have happily accompanied me on so many runs and made me better.  I will be racing for me and for you.

I love you, I love you, I love you!


Wordless Wednesday–Books and Fun Times

1 Sep

Dear Carson–Month 10

23 Aug

Dear Carson,

Every month these letters seem to start the same…something along the lines of “Where did the time go?”.  But, seriously, how did another month go by already? 

This has been a very busy month for you and for us.  You have spent the last month really perfecting your “Carson Crawl”, as it has been dubbed.  Everyone who sees you comments on your special little crawl–one leg up, one leg down.  You motor all around the house getting into way more things than you should.  You furniture surf everywhere and are starting to become more daring going from one thing to the next.  You have really developed strong opinions this month about what you want and what you don’t want and have been quite effective on making these opinions known.  Unfortunately, some of your strongest opinions involve wanting to play in the bathroom, the closet, and the refrigerator.

I had a week of vacation and you and I spent so much time together.  I soaked up every single second of time I had with you.  I love your little personality that is out in full force now.  I love playing with you and actually laughing with you at things.  Seeing you develop and change this month in particular has me even more excited about the little man you will become in the future.  You have started to understand your signs, and can sign “fan”, “more”, and “all done” and it is awesome to see your little brain working.

I continue to beam like the proud Mama that I am any time anyone passes out a compliment about you.  I love to hear that other people think you are as handsome, personable, and well-behaved as I think you are.  You are truly one happy, happy  little boy.  You make me happy and you make everyone who is around you happy.  I cannot believe how lucky I am to have been chosen to be your Mama, I am so happy that you are mine. 

I love you, I love you, I love you,


Lessons Learned While On Vacation

20 Aug

1.  Water (ocean, pool, water table, tubby, glass big enough to fit a hand), swinging, and reading books can solve most problems that can’t be fixed with a nap.

2.  Poop in the water can make all the problems you were trying to fix come back.

3.  10-month olds can have very strong opinions about things.

4.  Children, unlike adults, can love absolutely unconditionally.  Get all you can while the gettin’s good.

5.  There is absolutely no better feeling in the world than being someone’s favorite person.

6.  Seeing your child’s brain starting to make sense of things is awesome! 

7.  Being proud of yourself starts at an early age.  Hopefully it sticks around for a while, too!

8.  Somehow, it is possible to love more everyday.

9.  It doesn’t really matter to your child if you have wrinkles in your forehead, gray hairs on your head, you didn’t do your hair and you kind of look like crap.  He is still just as happy as ever just to be with you, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

10.  I absolutely am not the mother who works because she needs that sphere to feel “complete”.  “Just” being a mom is the most complete I have ever felt.  Make no qualms about it, I work strictly to pay the bills. 

A whole week with this face? YES, PLEASE!!

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