The End Is Here…

I think this is it.  Three days before 16 months, we are done.  I think Carson is weaned.  We have gone from 4 feedings to none in the past month.  It wasn’t as difficult as I thought it was going to be, there were minimal tears (from him, I mean!).  I thought it would be harder for me than it has been–but it is still sad.

I love, love, LOVE nursing my son.  It has been one of the most amazing things I have been able to give to him.  He has been sick ONCE in 16 months.  I think it is because of breastfeeding.  The fact that we are done is just another red flag that he is not a baby anymore.  I see evidence of this everyday, but when we had our quiet moments nursing it was easy to forget that he is a big boy now.  Shockingly, in combo with the raging pregnancy hormones, I haven’t cried over this.  I did well up, but no tears were shed.

On a bright note, I get to have my boobs to myself for about 5-6 months before I have to do it all again.  I can only hope Gummy Bear Baby is studying up on breastfeeding in utero like Carson did.  He came out a pro, we had no problems.  I hope I can be so lucky again.

I’m Going Big Time!

No–really, I am!  I have been afforded the great opportunity to bore hundreds or thousands (maybe more!) of readers with my amazing and perfect parenting skills.  I am going to be a blogger for The Day!!  Apparently, I wowed the staff with my witty and fantastic stories about my uterus and boobs.  Who could say no to that?  (for those of you who aren’t local, The Day is the paper for our corner of Connecticut and their website gets FIVE MILLION hits a month!!)

What does that mean for us?  Well, honestly–this blog may take a little bit of a back seat.  I truly hope you will all come over to my new home and stick with me.  Also, when some crazy mom comments that I am a psycho for breastfeeding my 16 month old, I expect ALL OF YOU to defend me.  It will be an interesting ride, because I KNOW there will be people who completely disagree with everything I say and/or do.  Hopefully for each of those people, there will be at least one or two who think I am awesome!

You will notice some changes–because of the potential traffic I could get I don’t plan on using Carson’s name.  I have decided what pseudonym he should get quite yet.  Also, I don’t think it is fair to plaster his face all over the blog, so I will be trying to get a little more creative with my pictures.  On the flip side–I still will probably post on this blog the things I don’t want to share with 5 million people.

I am hoping to embark on this new endeavor by next week…but I can’t start it up until I can think of a name for the blog…and as of right now–I got nothing.  Any ideas?

Hope you guys are as excited as I am and you will make the move with me!  Try to hit me up with some comments in my new home and make me feel loved!!

O-gurrr!

(bonus points to anyone who can guess what that word is in Carson-speak…no reading ahead!!)

So, I should be feeding my kid good, balanced meals, right?  Let’s review the weekend.

Saturday

Breakfast: Appetizer of shared Nutri-grain bar and banana (appetizer because he grazes off mom-EE or da-DA)

Oatmeal (this is probably one of the best things he eats–and I make a good oatmeal.  Seriously–oats, whole milk, handful of raisins.  Microwave 2 minutes…add couple of spoonfuls of unsweetened applesauce and you have oatmeal that tastes better and is better for you that the pre-packaged flavored kind)

Morning snack spurred on by “EEE” which clearly means “Eat”.  Well, clearly when accompanied by the sign for “eat”:   “O-gurrr!!”  Anyone?  Anyone?  Duh, yogurt.  He is ADDICTED to yogurt.  Thank god, because otherwise who the heck knows what else he would eat.  He LOVES Chobani Champions yogurt, which is greek yogurt for kids.

Lunch: Peanut butter rye toast.  Unfortunately my cravings for rye toast don’t carry over to Carson and he crushes the toast into tiny pieces and throws them all on the floor.  Making the mistake of asking him what he wants, he says “o-gurr”.  Of course.  But really–I’m running out of ideas, so…sure…here’s some yogurt.  Since he doesn’t drink milk because it is the most horrible thing that has ever passed his lips (cow’s milk, almond milk AND rice milk), I guess he could use a little extra dairy!  For dessert?  The super nutritious S’mores flavored Goldfish.  I don’t know why I ever bought these for my kid, but I better not think of stopping any time soon.

Afternoon snack: “ohhh”  Cheerios in the snack catcher.  Which means 50% end up on the floor.  And then you step on them.  And crush them into a million tiny pieces.

Dinner: Leftover cheesy pasta (pasta, butter, parmesan shake cheese…you know, super nutritious) from Friday night.  The reason it is left over is because he didn’t eat it on Friday night.  I don’t know why I tried.  In the mouth….out of the mouth.  Ugh, how bout some yogurt?  “O-gurrr!”  mmmK, great.  Yogurt it is.  And how ’bout S’mores Goldfish while we are at it.

Sunday: Well, really…just see Saturday.

Some of you are probably like “feed your kid some vegetables”.  Why don’t you come over and try?  What I didn’t tell you about was the cucumbers we tried on Sunday that he spit out and then threw on the floor.  Because things he doesn’t eat cannot EVER stay on the tray.  That would be crazy.  Anyhow, take out “cucumber” and insert any vegetable and you will get the same response.

So, I just keep feeding my kid o-gurr.  Because otherwise he might starve to death.  Well, I guess he would always have S’mores Goldfish.

Do My Boobs Taste Funny To You??

For the five of you that I didn’t manage to alienate when I talked about my uterus, I’m going to talk about my boobs today.  That should wipe the rest of you out.

Carson and I are working on weaning.  It’s funny–it’s been 15 months and at no point did I consider it hard, or a chore, or work.  I LOVE nursing my son.  So, this weaning thing is very bittersweet for me.  I would like my boobs back for a little bit before I have a newbie sucking on me alllllllllllll day long.  Other than that, though…the thought of being done is making me sad.  It means no more quiet, one-on-one bonding time.  It means my Little Man is just that–no more baby.  It means Gummy Bear Baby is already pushing Carson out, changing his routine.

Well…anyhow…this weaning thing is supposed to go the way I say.  I am trying to take out one feeding at a time, let Carson get used to that before we work on the next feeding.  It is supposed to gradual and non-traumatic.  We have recently been working on going from four feedings a day to three.  Except something has happened in the past few days, something to my boobs–or more specifically–my milk.  Carson seems to get frustrated lately when he is on the boob.  He comes off sooner than usual, whines about it, he may even grab/squeeze my boob in frustration.  From Friday to Sunday, he wouldn’t nurse on my right side.  I can only assume my supply is decreasing or the taste of my milk is changing because of Gummy Bear Baby.  This is NOT how it is supposed to go.  This is supposed to be a smooth transition for Carson.  Gummy Bear Baby is NOT supposed to be pushing Carson out already.

I’m sad for Carson.  I’m nervous that this is just the first thing in an infinite list of things that Gummy Bear will be “ruining” for Carson.  I’m sad for me, that this part of my relationship with my son is coming to an end.  I’m pretty sure it’s only minutes from now that he will be slamming a door in my face and telling me he hates me.

This is all happening so fast!

Gummy Bear Baby IS In There!

Despite my period being late by 63 days (Thanks, iPeriod Free app!) and despite me having an ultrasound with visual and audio proof, I was still kind of doubting that I was, in fact, pregnant.  Yes, I am tired–but is this weird–I remember being MORE tired last time.  You know, the time when I wasn’t chasing around a 15 month old?  I know, that makes NO sense, but that is how I feel.  Maybe because I had more time to pay attention to how tired I was, I don’t know.  But some days I think to myself “This can’t be right, I should be more tired.  This should be harder or something?  I should feel…more…I don’t know…PREGNANT?”

Well, good news, people!  The day I have been waiting for is HERE.  You know when you can actually FEEL the baby inside you?  You know when you feel that little golf-ball size nugget inside your belly?  I’m trying to refrain from using the word “uterus” here so I don’t freak out my non-mommy readers (and I’m sure there are TONS of you…), but you know–when all of a sudden you can actually FEEL your uterus?  I can feel it!  I can feel my uterus, I can feel my uterus!  When I woke up this morning…THERE IT WAS!!  Gummy Bear Baby is in there!  Phew.  Eleven and a half weeks later, I think I might actually believe it!

(someone please tell me you know what I am talking about so I don’t think I am a total whack-a-doo!)

Wordless Wednesday–Christmas Tree Love

Things Are Sort Of Different, But Some Things are Kind Of The Same…

So, what is different the second time around (or not)?  Let’s hit up some bullet points…

• As already stated, there may be HOURS that go by with you forgetting your pregnant.  Well, at least at this point when your belly is just mush and you aren’t technically “looking pregnant”, which leads me to the next bullet point…
• Baby #2 thinks it is way cool to give you belly mush at like 8 weeks.  Great.
• You don’t read every book and every thing you can possible get your hand on to tell you about your pregnancy.  Clearly, it is because you know everything this time around.  Also, you hardly have time to go to the bathroom.  Well you do, but chances are there is a toddler size person watching you/poking you/sitting on your lap while you do it.
• You appreciate sleeping through the night SO MUCH MORE.  Sweet Jesus, there is a large part of me that is quite SICK thinking about a year (YEAR!!) of sleepless nights.  How in the holy hell did I already do that once?
• You still hate all the stupid questions/comments that come out of people’s mouths.  And I haven’t really even gotten into the thick of it yet.  The thought of it is already annoying me.  For the last time, people–my intentions with my sex life IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!
• Of course you are super excited about a new little baby nugget…but there is also this part of you that is seriously worried about any permanent psychological damage you may cause your first born when you totally rip apart his entire world….
• You also feel a little guilty and sad because you LOVE to love your little man.  You are worried that he won’t get all the attention and love that he deserves.  And you are also worried that Gummy Bear Baby won’t get all the attention and love that s/he loves and deserves.
• People don’t seem to care as much about you being pregnant this time.  I know I just said stop freaking bothering me with dumb questions–but maybe you should just ask me how I am doing.  Because I am hormonal.  And two minutes ago I wanted to kill you for breathing on me and now I want you to hug me.  But you better do it quick, or else I may cry.  And if I don’t cry, I may yell at you for hugging me.  I guess that part is the same as last time…

Hmmm…

Two of these are supposed to be easy...right? RIGHT?

Gummy Bear Baby is Already Neglected

The first time around, being pregnant absolutely consumed me.  It consumed my every thought, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  Well, this time…there are whole hours that pass where I forget that I am growing a baby.  It’s so different.  I want to give 100% focus to Gummy Bear Baby, but I also want to give 100% focus to my 15 month old.  Clearly, this doesn’t add up.  Not to mention all the working and wife-ing I am also supposed to be doing.

Needless to say, Gummy Bear Baby gets forgotten sometimes.  I don’t know how, but it happens.  Considering the fact that in seven-ish months, Gummy Bear Baby is going to essentially ruin Carson’s life, I am trying to give him as much love and attention as possible.  Which isn’t that much different than any other day.  Except that Gummy Bear Baby gets occasionally neglected.

The second time is different.  We know what we are in for this time.  What we don’t know is how the 22 month old we will be residing with will respond.  He thinks babies are great when they aren’t his, when they aren’t taking up the time of his two favorite people in the whole wide world.

It’s going to be an interesting ride…

Please forgive me, I have been cheating on you with a one-year-old. And an iPhone.

Yeah…don’t worry–I’m alive.  I don’t know what to say for myself–other than I have a one-year-old now.  Oh, and an iPhone.  The one-year-old part is pretty self-explanatory, but I bet you are probably wondering about the iPhone part.  Well, here’s the thing–I don’t get on the computer as much now that I have my phone.  And unlike my bloggy friend Suzanne, who does whole blog posts from her iPhone, I just don’t have that kind of patience or dedication.  The bummer is I have missed some good blogging opportunities, what with Thanksgiving and all.  I am sure all of you are disappointed not to hear all the things I am thankful for….  I also have a review and giveaway to do that I have just been dragging my feet on.  Luckily the person I am reviewing for is a mom of a 14 month old, and probably understands where I am at better than most. 

So…what has been keeping me from my blog, you ask?  Or maybe you don’t ask, but I’m going to tell you anyways.  You know how I love to throw some bullets at you when I haven’t been around for a while.

• I don’t even think I have blogged since Carson started walking!  Jeez, it truly seems like he has been walking forever, and it has only bee about a month or so.  The walking definitely makes him even more of a Little Man.  He is pretty effiecient at it, with relatively few falls.  I expected him to be that way–I could tell he wasn’t going to walk until he was “good” at it.  While I am pretty sure he gets that from me, I hope he doesn’t let it hinder him from trying new things.  Unfortunately, I usually will not try new things if I think I will not be successful at them.  We’ll see how this unfolds as he continues to develop. 
• This walking thing is a little bittersweet, because he almost never crawls anymore….and boy, I loved his little cock-eyed crawl. 

Yeah, that crawl is C-U-T-E. I miss it already!!

•  Remember when I was all excited that I was a runner?  Yeah, I have no idea what the HELL happened there.  Well, actually I do…WINTER.  Which I know is just an excuse.  If I was a real runner, I would suck it up and get out there no matter what.  Unfortunately, I am not that comfortable running in the dark, which is what it comes down to some days.  Should I join the gym for the winter?  Probably.  The other problem is that I am coming to this critical point where my running has decreased and so has my nursing–which is not a good combination for my weight.  Ugh. 
• Carson has slept through the night once!!  WOOT!!  Lately though, he goes down between 7-7:45 and sleeps til 4:30, when I bring him to bed with us.  I would let him cry a little–but when he comes to bed with me he has been sleeping until SEVEN A.M. OR LATER!!!  If I left him in the crib, I would probably get to sleep til 6.  That extra hour or two is too wonderful to pass up.  Plus, I am not going to lie to you–I love, love, LOVE cuddling up in bed with him.  I love opening my eyes and seeing his cute little face all tucked up next to me.
• We are still nursing.  I think now that he isn’t nursing in the night, he wants it more in the day.  Not necessarily more often–but when he wants his milk, he wants is NOW.  He will ask to nurse and I will tell him “You know if you nurse that means nigh-nights” (because I am trying to get some kind of nursing routine rather than being an all-day milk buffet), so then he signs that he wants to go to bed.  I have been trying to stick to that, even if I don’t think he is tired–but you know what?  Every time he asks for milk and to go to sleep, he does!  I am proud of him that he is becoming a good sleeper and is able to tell me when he is ready for bed.
• How does he tell me these things?  He signs ALOT of stuff.  He has words too, but holy moly–I am truly amazed by the signing.  I cannot imagine not having it.  I don’t know the levels of frustration that would be going on in this house with both of us if he wasn’t able to communicate what he wanted or what he was thinking.  I am going to brag a little right now, so deal with it…he correctly understands and uses all of these signs: eat, more, all done, cookie, banana, music, cat, dog, bird, bath, toothbrush, outside, play, help, please, thank you, ball, book, shoes, dad, drink, sleep, light, fan, swing, sit…I think I may be forgetting some. The really amazing part is that he is starting to string signs together– “more cookie”, “more ball” and so on.  I am truly amazed at what a little one-year old can understand.  And using sign language really sheds a glaring light on what a child is capable of if you can tap into it with the right tools.  And while I am bragging, he also knows where his head, eyes, nose and belly is.  Oh, and his penis too.  You know, the important stuff.
• I thought getting into the drop your kid off at daycare, go to work, pick your kid up routine would get easier the more we did it…but it doesn’t.  I still get really sad some days when I have to leave him.  I think as he gets older and is more fun every day, it actually gets harder.  I just LOVE being with him, playing with him, making him laugh.  I am grateful that he is does such a good job at “school” or it would definitely be too much for me to handle!
• Lastly (and I hope this doesn’t read wrong…), every time I hear about a child with an illness or a disability or special needs I literally think how lucky I am.  I truly feel lucky every day that I have a happy, healthy little boy who does not have to struggle through his day.  I could very easily make myself cry thinking about how different our lives could be if we weren’t so lucky.  We are a blessed, blessed family.

Really? I cannot even stand it. I know, I know--he's my kid--but damn, he is seriously the most adorable kid I have ever seen. 🙂 LOVE!!!