Joy In The Simple Things

So, sometimes it takes a trip to the playground to put things into perspective.  Maybe I should try finding more joy in the simple things (besides the joy I find every minute I am with Carson).  Maybe I should treat the simple things like the first swing of the spring.  Maybe the simple things should be treated like I forgot how wonderful they were…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/VU-YixyEahg?rel=0

Ok, it kinds ruins the effect when the video won’t embed…but just click on the link.  I promise that you will find joy in the simple things if you do.  (also, I have to remember to turn my iPhone so you can see a full screen…oops!!)

Dear Elmo–A Love Letter From Carson

Dear Elmo,

I love you soooo much.  You are the best monster ever.  I like to say your name all the time.  Sometimes my Mama or Dada will be talking to me about something else and I will just shout out, “Ehhlmoh!”.  They look at me like I am crazy.  You make me so happy inside.  I wish my parents would let me watch you all day, I don’t see what the big deal is.  When they don’t let me watch you, I yell like this: “Ehhhlmohh!”  EHHHLLLLmoh!!!”  EEHHHLLLLMOOOOHHHHH!”  and then I just throw myself on the floor and scream and cry, although that doesn’t seem to be working very well and I can’t figure out why.  When we do watch Sesame, if you are not on, I just keep yelling “Ehhlmoh! Ehhhlmoh!  EHHHLMOHHHH!!” until my Mama or Dada pushes some buttons on the remote that make the screen move all fast and then you appear!  The only other part I like to watch is Murray, but he is not as good as you are, Elmo.  I don’t even really like to watch you with other Monsters.  I really only like to watch Elmo’s World and I even make my parents make the TV go fast through Mr. Noodle.  He is so boring and not as red and furry as you are.  You are my favorite.  Well, besides my Stuffy.  Also, I like GloWorm alot, but I don’t think I like him more than you. 

I love you,

Carson

Worst. Thing. Ever.

Not the best title for a Christmas blog, I know.  Yesterday–Christmas Eve–The Boy fell down a flight of stairs.  Thirteen wooden stairs.  Without a doubt, the absolute worst thing I have ever witnessed.   It was a simple case of “I thought he was with you”.  It makes me feel horrible…filling me with “What if…’s”.  I thought a kid falling down a flight of stairs was something that happened to bad parents that don’t watch their kids. I guess it happens to good parents that don’t watch their kids too.  I saw him tumble, head over foot, foot over head, like a rag doll.  Except I am pretty sure a rag doll wouldn’t make those sounds as its various body parts hit the stairs.  I think I screamed.  I ran down the stairs and scooped up my crying baby in my arms.  The Hubbs came running.  The Mother-In-Law came running.  Apparently I looked like I was going to pass out because the MIL (a nurse) took The Boy out of my arms and ordered me to lay down.  I didn’t, because I couldn’t lay down when my kid just tumbled down the stairs.  I was shaking, crying, feeling dizzy.  About 3 or 4 minutes later, The Boy had stopped crying.  We took off his pajam’s to check out his tiny little body.  A couple of big eggs on his head, but relatively unscathed.  I was still shaking and he was running around in his diaper like the happy little boy that he is. 

We called the doctor just to be safe and he made me feel a lot better.  “As long as he cried right away and was back to “normal” within a short amount of time, he is fine.”  “It is really just a series of 6 inch falls, it just looks much worse than that.” “It happens to every kid, every parent.” “If I told you the story of my kid falling down the stairs you wouldn’t believe it.”  “Pull the the three gray hairs it gave you our of your head and have a glass of wine.”  It took me a while to stop crying, weeping, beating myself up over it.  But truly–he was FINE.  I am shocked at his resilient little body.  I am disappointed in myself for not protecting him.  I wish that when I closed my eyes to go to sleep, heck–even to blink, that I didn’t replay his little body bouncing down the stairs.  It is haunting me a little bit. 

But don’t worry–this is a happy story in the end…because he is SO fine.  I would give up every gift for me and for him if I had to for him to be fine.  It surely put things into perspective.  Because some wrapped gift isn’t really what Christmas is about.  Christmas is about being happy, being healthy, and about family.  So I smother him with more kisses now, as if that is even possible.  Our first major parental catastrophe of many, I’m sure.  We all survived, some a little bit more (mentally) bruised than others.  We all had a super Merry Christmas and I am soooo grateful for my family.

Dear Carson: ONE YEAR!!

Dear Carson–

You are big ONE YEAR OLD!  My brain is grappling with where the time went.  It is so bittersweet, because I can’t help thinking if this year went so fast, what is going to happen with all your other years?  I can honestly say, though, that I feel like I cherished each and every minute of this first year. 

I have spent a lot of time thinking back to this day last year.  I came home from work on a Thursday night not thinking much about your arrival.  I was thinking more about the fact that Friday (your birthday) was to be my last day of work.  I was thinking about the supposed 2 weeks of time off I had before you came and all the things I wanted to do.  Then I woke up at midnight…with contractions!  You couldn’t wait to join us, and nine hours later our lives were forever changed for the better (I will spare you the rest of the details).   It is so funny to me that I walked into the hospital one person and left a completely different, and better person.

You are spent the last year developing into the most amazing little man I have ever met.  I can’t believe what you are capable of, physically and mentally.  At this point, you are like a little human sponge.  I can teach you a new sign nearly every day or every other day and you are using it correctly.  Some people laugh at using sign language, but if we didn’t do it, I wouldn’t know anything that was going on in that little head of yours.  Because of signing, I know when you are hungry, when you want milk, I know that you love to listen to the birds outside…I know that there is so much going on with you that I otherwise would not be privy too.  It has definitely opened up my eyes to what you are capable of and how aware of your surroundings you are. 

I know that it was your Daddy’s and my decision to bring you into this world…but I honestly cannot thank you enough for coming.  You have taught me to be a better person.  You have taught me the real meaning of true love.  You have taught me that the world around me is a pretty cool place if I stop to look.  You have taught me to be more understanding and less judgemental.  You have taught me that I am capable of so much more than I ever knew.  You have taught me to believe in myself and my decisions–you are living proof that I am making the right choices everyday. 

You have absolutely blown my world away.  I love you so much for being you and for all you bring to me and your Daddy.  My heart is too small to contain my love.  I truly cannot wait to see what the next year will bring.  I know you will continue to amaze me and make me proud every single day.

I love you, I love you, I love you,

Mommy

Blog? What blog?

Ok, turns out life is crazy hectic with an almost-one-year old.  Then, give that almost-one-year-old some unnamed virus and you can be assured to get NOTHING done.  I mean, I still haven’t made my 11 Month Smilebox.  Someday, Carson will be like 20 and say “Hey, what was I like in my 11th month?” and I will have nothing to show him. 

The virus has pretty much ruined our sleeping lives.  By “our” I mean Carson and mine.  Well, really just mine, I guess.  The hubbs seems to sleep great no matter how many times the exhausted Mommy gets out of bed.  I’m freaking tired.  I don’t have the time or the energy to blog right now.  So bear with me.  There are good things coming–first birthday, one year smilebox, a boy THISCLOSE to walking, a review/giveaway.  Yup, get excited people!!

Inner Mean Girl Reform School: Week 2

So, how did the gossip free week go, you may be wondering?  Well, not too bad, shockingly.  Turns out I don’t really gossip as much as I thought I did.  Or…at least as much as I USED to before I had a kid.  There are too few hours in my day as it is to spend precious time gossiping about others.  Plus I find now that I have my son, I think to myself “everyone is someone’s kid…would I want someone talking about my son?”.  The answer is quite obviously no, which makes it easier to keep myself in check.  The hardest thing to stay away from was celebrity gossip!  It is everywhere–radio, TV…you can’t escape it.  But I tried my best.  Oh…and then there is my sister who is a gossip monger and tries to sink me in my gossip-free dinghy.  I’m not gonna lie…she got me a few times.  But all-in-all, I have refrained from gossiping.  And truly I feel better because of it.  It is a lot easier to think that I want to live my life as I would like my son to live his.  I want to be the model for him, and if that means no gossip…well, then so be it.  Sometimes what is better for him turns out to be better for me too.

Now, onto week 2–giving up Comparison.  We all do it.  By “we” I mean women, moms…I’m pretty sure my male readership is approximately 2, so if you two men would care to comment on this, be my guests.  So, the goal for the next week is “to refrain from comparison and pick up the self-loving habits of inspiration, appreciation, and gratitude.”  Examples of some comparisons I have had (mainly in my head) of late: “That woman’s child is the same age as mine and I look better than her” (what??!!?? I’m just being honest here.  You know you have done it too!) or, conversely “Oh crap, that woman’s child is the same age and mine and she looks better than me”.  So, this week, I am going to work on knocking that off.  I can work on just loving me for me, loving where I am at, appreciating what I do everyday, what I can get done, and being thankful for what I have (and boy am I thankful!!)

I’ll admit, I am not fully investing myself in this reform.  To be honest, I don’t think I have that kind of time or energy.  But I am getting something from it.  I am working on channeling my powers for good.  I’d be interested to hear if any of you are playing along with me, and what your experiences are!

Inner Mean Girl Reform School

My bloggie-friend Kim over at The Girl recently wrote about the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse and I was intrigued…so…I signed up!    What is Inner Mean Girl Reform School?  Well, I only know what the website tells me–but I guess it is a 40 day program that will help break me of 6 “toxic habits” and replace them with 6 new “self-loving habits”.  I know.  That sounds fruity to me too!!  The six toxic habits are: Gossip (ummm…have you spent any time talking to me???), Comparison, Judgment, Expectations, Obligations, and Fear-based Media (I don’t know what that one means!!).  Anyhow, if you are a woman in today’s society I am pretty sure you have experienced at least 5 of these (it would probably be 6 if I knew what “fear-based media meant!).

Now, I don’t know exactly how invested I will be in this cleanse.  But I definitely think that I will be taking something away from it.  This week (the cleanse just started today), we are working on GOSSIP.  If you know me, you know I LOVE to gossip, and now I am kind of feeling a little bad about it!!  My goal is to refrain from all gossip for the next 7 days.  I honestly think this is going to be a serious challenge for me!  I should be replacing my gossip with “Good Talk” and only saying things about people that I would want said about me.   HMMMM….does this sound like something I would like to teach my son?  That puts a whole new spin on things!  Maybe I will be more invested in this cleanse than I thought.  I live every day for The Boy.  I strive to be a role model for him in all spheres of our lives.  If I want him to use Good Talk–then guess what?  I should too!!

So do me a favor–Please don’t gossip with me!!  If you do, I will have to stop talking to you.  Well, at least stop our conversation.  And if you here me gossiping, hit me or something–just make me stop!! 

 I’ll keep you posted what’s up for next week.  If you think you would be interested in cleansing your own Inner Mean Girl, sign up!  It’s free!

Carson–Month 10 Slideshow

This photo slideshow personalized with Smilebox

New Button

For all my blogger friends out there–I’ve got a button!  Woot!  See it down there on the right hand side?  Mind giving me some button love?  Thanks!

Dear Carson–Month 9

Dear Carson,

Well, here you are, another month older! You have had so many big things going on this month. You are officially mobile! You are crawling/dragging yourself all over the house. Every day your “crawl” changes a little bit, constantly evolving into a more efficient mode of transportation. You are pulling up to stand on anything you can get your hands on and you are cruising all over the place.

You have taught me a lot of life lessons this month.  First, life is a lot more fun when you dance!  You have become an absolute dancing machine and will dance to anything that remotely resembles a “song”.  And sure enough, watching you dance and dancing with you makes me HAPPY!!  Second, it’s OK if you are a little bit dirty.  I have gotten a lot more laid-back about me being dirty, you being dirty, the house being dirty.  There seems to be a direct correlation with the amount of food/dirt on your clothes or in your hair/eyebrows/ears to your level of happiness.  The dirtier you are, the happier you are…so, we just take a lot more baths in this house!

I have been absolutely amazed this month at how much you have changed.  It seemed before now, each new “baby trick” came slowly, giving us time to really appreciate your new skill.  This month, you have acquired so many new skills so quickly it is hard to keep track.  I am in awe every day of what you can accomplish.

My little heart almost explodes with love when you see me after we have been apart for any length of time.  You usually yell with joy and smile, laugh and squirm to get into my arms.  You give me the best baby hugs I have ever received.  I cherish these moments and get a little sad to think there will be a day when I am not your whole world.   

You have been visiting me at work a lot this month and so many people comment on how happy and cute you are.  I know my body betrays me as I try to hide how proud I am of you.  I am pretty sure it emanates from every pore I have. 

Somehow, you continue to make every day better than the last.  I love starting and ending my day with you in my arms.  You are the absolute best baby this Mommy could ever ask for.  Thank you for being you, every day!

I love you, I love you, I love you,

Mommy