Dear Carson: ONE YEAR!!

Dear Carson–

You are big ONE YEAR OLD!  My brain is grappling with where the time went.  It is so bittersweet, because I can’t help thinking if this year went so fast, what is going to happen with all your other years?  I can honestly say, though, that I feel like I cherished each and every minute of this first year. 

I have spent a lot of time thinking back to this day last year.  I came home from work on a Thursday night not thinking much about your arrival.  I was thinking more about the fact that Friday (your birthday) was to be my last day of work.  I was thinking about the supposed 2 weeks of time off I had before you came and all the things I wanted to do.  Then I woke up at midnight…with contractions!  You couldn’t wait to join us, and nine hours later our lives were forever changed for the better (I will spare you the rest of the details).   It is so funny to me that I walked into the hospital one person and left a completely different, and better person.

You are spent the last year developing into the most amazing little man I have ever met.  I can’t believe what you are capable of, physically and mentally.  At this point, you are like a little human sponge.  I can teach you a new sign nearly every day or every other day and you are using it correctly.  Some people laugh at using sign language, but if we didn’t do it, I wouldn’t know anything that was going on in that little head of yours.  Because of signing, I know when you are hungry, when you want milk, I know that you love to listen to the birds outside…I know that there is so much going on with you that I otherwise would not be privy too.  It has definitely opened up my eyes to what you are capable of and how aware of your surroundings you are. 

I know that it was your Daddy’s and my decision to bring you into this world…but I honestly cannot thank you enough for coming.  You have taught me to be a better person.  You have taught me the real meaning of true love.  You have taught me that the world around me is a pretty cool place if I stop to look.  You have taught me to be more understanding and less judgemental.  You have taught me that I am capable of so much more than I ever knew.  You have taught me to believe in myself and my decisions–you are living proof that I am making the right choices everyday. 

You have absolutely blown my world away.  I love you so much for being you and for all you bring to me and your Daddy.  My heart is too small to contain my love.  I truly cannot wait to see what the next year will bring.  I know you will continue to amaze me and make me proud every single day.

I love you, I love you, I love you,

Mommy

Dear Carson–Month 11

Dear Carson,

I absolutely cannot believe that I am a mom of an almost-one-year-old!  You are becoming such a big boy!

All of a sudden you are really starting to soak up everything you can.  You are learning all sorts of new signs–you now can sign “more”, “all done”, “eat”, “outside” and “book” and you understand the signs for “cat”, “bath”, “swing”, “cookie”, “cracker” and “milk”.  Every day I try to add a new sign to our communication and you seem to excited to learn.  You are also definitely working on your verbal communication.  Daddy and I think you are saying “ball” and I think you are also working on “cat”, “more”, and “fruit”.  You also say “mama” appropriately and are working on “Dada”.  It amazes me how much your language has changed in one month.

You are thisclose to walking.  I tell people that you are a very deliberate person.  It seems like you will not walk until you know that you can do it successfully.  You are definitely getting more confident in your mobility though.  I am certain you will be walking before your one-year birthday.

I have been getting ready for your big first birthday party.  One thing I have done is gone back and looked at your pictures over the past eleven months.  I cannot believe how much you have changed and evolved from this little dependent creature into a inquisitive and fun little boy.  You are so happy and you bring joy to everyone you meet.  I love when strangers comment on your smile, your eyes, your happiness.

This month you have started your separation anxiety phase.  When I leave you at daycare, you cry and fuss a little bit which absolutely breaks my heart.  At daycare they say you are such a Mama’s Boy and I love it.  I know there is a time, probably much sooner than I expect, when I am not going to be your favorite person anymore so I am soaking up every minute of your affection.

I seriously love watching you change from a little baby into a little boy.  Every day you amaze me with something new that you have learned.  You make each day better.  I am looking forward to seeing what more you can accomplish in the last month of your first year, I know the possibilities are endless. 

Lastly–I have my first half marathon coming up in just a few days and I want to thank you…if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be running this far.  You have opened me up to a whole new world of possibilities.  You have taught me what I am truly capable of.  You have inspired me to be the best and healthiest Mama I can be.  You have happily accompanied me on so many runs and made me better.  I will be racing for me and for you.

I love you, I love you, I love you!

Mommy

Dear Carson–Month 10

Dear Carson,

Every month these letters seem to start the same…something along the lines of “Where did the time go?”.  But, seriously, how did another month go by already? 

This has been a very busy month for you and for us.  You have spent the last month really perfecting your “Carson Crawl”, as it has been dubbed.  Everyone who sees you comments on your special little crawl–one leg up, one leg down.  You motor all around the house getting into way more things than you should.  You furniture surf everywhere and are starting to become more daring going from one thing to the next.  You have really developed strong opinions this month about what you want and what you don’t want and have been quite effective on making these opinions known.  Unfortunately, some of your strongest opinions involve wanting to play in the bathroom, the closet, and the refrigerator.

I had a week of vacation and you and I spent so much time together.  I soaked up every single second of time I had with you.  I love your little personality that is out in full force now.  I love playing with you and actually laughing with you at things.  Seeing you develop and change this month in particular has me even more excited about the little man you will become in the future.  You have started to understand your signs, and can sign “fan”, “more”, and “all done” and it is awesome to see your little brain working.

I continue to beam like the proud Mama that I am any time anyone passes out a compliment about you.  I love to hear that other people think you are as handsome, personable, and well-behaved as I think you are.  You are truly one happy, happy  little boy.  You make me happy and you make everyone who is around you happy.  I cannot believe how lucky I am to have been chosen to be your Mama, I am so happy that you are mine. 

I love you, I love you, I love you,

Mommy

Dear Carson–Month 8

Dear Carson,

You are another month older!  This month actually seemed to go slower than the rest, which has been kind of nice.  I feel like I have had more time to enjoy you!  I spent some time today looking back at your old pictures and it still amazes me how much you have changed in such a short time.

This has been a big month for you, you have had a lot of new experiences and lot of firsts.  For your first Father’s Day, you decided to give your Daddy a new tooth!  And you are already working on another one.  You only had a few bad days with the teething, and even then you tried so hard to be a happy little boy.

You learned your first sign, “more”, this month.  I cannot wait for you to pick up on some of the other signs we have been working on.  I am so proud of you and am nothing short of amazed when you are able to tell me what you want.

You went swimming in the Lake at your grandparents for the first time this month (and the second time…and the third time…).  You LOVED it.  I am so happy that you are not afraid of the water.  I hope you are my little water bug.  You love swimming with me and Daddy and love lounging in your little raft.  I can’t wait to spend the rest of the summer in the water with you!!

You haven’t started crawling, but you sit and spin around and around which always makes me laugh.  You have started pulling yourself up from sitting onto your knees on your own.  When you play with me, you use me as a jungle gym and sometimes pull yourself all the way up to standing.  You seem much more adventurous and courageous when I am near by! 

Your personality and sense of humor develop more every day.  You have really started to take an interest in your books, especially your Touch and Feel animal books.  You laugh right out loud when you see the animals.  You enjoy digging in your toy box.  I am always entertained to see you looking in and making a conscious decision as to which toy you want to play with. 

One of our favorite things to do towards the end of this month has been picking and eating our blueberries and raspberries.  You sit so patiently in the yard waiting for me to come and deliver you some berry goodness. 

I spend a lot of time talking and watching other moms with little boys and I wonder what you will be like as you get older.  It does make me a little sad to think that some day, probably sooner than later, I will not be the center of your universe.  Even still, you will be the center of mine. 

I love to pass my days looking at the world through your eyes.  You have absolutely changed my outlook on the world around me.  Every decision that I make is made with you in mind and I hope you will someday know how I make it my goal each day to be the best Mommy I can be. 

There are big things ahead for you, Little Man.  Soon you will be on the move, your little gummy smile will be gone, and you will be learning more ways to communicate.  I am so proud of the person I see you becoming. 

I love you, I love you, I love you!

Mommy

Dear Carson–Month 7

Dear Carson,

Another month already, can you believe it?  It seems I start all of these that way–in amazement that time has gone by so quickly.  You continue to be nothing but an absolute joy in my life.  I can honestly say that I have not had a truly bad day since the day you were born–because no matter how hard the rest of my day is, you always make me smile.  I am finding it harder and harder to find the words to describe how much I love you, because each day it grows and there are not words big enough explain my feelings!

This month, you started sitting up like a big boy.  We can give you some toys and not have to worry about you falling over.  You have also used your new found sitting skills to start taking big-boy baths.  You love being in the bath!  When I lay you on your back, you kick and splash like crazy, smiling the whole time.  You and I also started swim class, and you like it and are learning more each class!  I can’t wait to take you in the lake to swim and practice all your new skills.

You have started to have real opinions about things.  You know what you like, you know what you want and you know what you don’t want.  You are so funny when you communicate these things.  You grunt, squeak, and squeal so much now, and oddly enough, I can understand most of what you are “saying”.  You definitely have your moments when you don’t want to be put down or left alone and you are not shy about making your feelings known. 

I really think you had a big growth spurt this month.  You are eating like crazy, nursing and trying new solid foods.  I am so proud of us to have made it 7 months so far with breastfeeding.  We are a great team and I think that it is a big accomplishment!!

Every day brings something new–a new skill, a new sound, a new behavior.  I so look forward to what you will show me.  I am learning as much from you are you are from me.  You have taught me how to be a better person and you are teaching me to be the best Mommy I can be.  While I often wish I could freeze time, I cannot wait to see what your future holds.  You are my Little Man and I am so proud of you each and every day. 

I love you, I love you, I love you,

Mommy

Dear Carson–Month 6

Dear Carson, 

Can you even believe that you are half  a year old??  I sure can’t.  The last 6 months have been more amazing for me than I ever could have expected.  You are a wonderful, wonderful little boy and your Daddy and I are so blessed to have you in our lives.   I spent some time looking back at your old pictures and cannot believe how much you have changed already.  Looking at some of the first pictures of your life with us, my heart overflows reliving those amazing feelings of welcoming you into our lives. 

I am so proud of you every day, trying and doing new things, always with a smile on your face.  I think I actually beam with pride when strangers comment on how happy you are.  I am glad other people can see your joy, too!!  

This month, you have officially become a pro at rolling–back and forth, over and over.  You have ventured off of the carpet and we can often hear the thud of your head as you roll onto the hard wood.  Luckily you don’t seem to mind!  You have also started sitting up on your own!  You still need a pillow or someone nearby to catch you, but you are getting better and better every day.  You are trying a little forward inching, although you seem to find it more efficient to roll back and forth, back and forth until you are able to get to your destination. 

You definitely know your Mommy now.  I cannot tell you how great it makes me feel when you see me and squeal and smile and dance all around.  It makes having to leave you so much easier when I know how excited you will be when I come back.  I love, love, LOVE that I am your favorite person right now.  I know it will not last forever, so I am eating it up while I can! 

You have really started to love eating big boy food.  So far, I have made you sweet potatoes and pears, and you eat cut up bananas.  You love all of them!  I also found out that you do like rice cereal, just not the kind that I made!  So now we mix up your food with pre-made whole grain rice cereal and you couldn’t be happier (or fuller!!). 

Your voice fills our tiny house with happiness.  You screech and laugh and talk.  I love waking up in the morning to the sound of you talking to yourself and your friends in your crib, it always makes me and Daddy laugh.  I like to think you are such a happy boy because you know how much you are loved by everyone around you. 

Thank you for another wonderful month, you are the very best boy this Mommy could ever ask for! 

I love you, I love you, I love you! 

Mommy 

Minutes old, and already soooooo loved!

 

Around 2 months old--already such the Little Man

 

3 Months--Just learned how to smile!

 

4 months--The Ladies Man!!

 

5 Months--Love This Little Face!

 

6 Months!--I love, love, love this Little Man!!

 

Dear Carson–Month 5

Dear Carson,

Today you are five months old!  I cannot tell you where the time goes, but now that I am back to work the time is going even faster than before!

Speaking of back to work, this month you started daycare.  You have done such an amazing job!  You spend three days a week with Miss Carol and two days with your Gigi.  Picking you up is the highlight to my day, and I rush to come get you to see your smiling face.  And you really are smiling all the time!!  As your mom, I think you are the most wonderful little boy–but when others say it I know it must be true.  Nothing makes me prouder than when people comment on how happy you seem.  You have such a laid back personality.  You rarely cry, unless you are overtired.  You are smiling and laughing most of the day. 

This month, the weather started warming up and we were able to spend more time outside.  We have been to the park alot.  You like to go in the bucket swing.  You have also been down the slide and you have swung with me in the grown up swing.  We also did a Baby and Me Zumba class, which you liked so much you fell asleep!!

You have mastered the elusive mouth-farts!  You can’t get enough of them now that you have figured them out.  Your months of practice have paid off, and it just keeps me laughing as your spittle drips down your chin.  You have shared banana with me, and you really like it.  We will probably be trying more food soon!!

Each day, you are more of a Little Man and each day I love you a little bit more than the day before.  I continue to be amazed that that is even possible.  You are such a little cuddlebug and some of my favorite moments with you are when you are hugging me.  Your Daddy says you are a Momma’s Boy and that couldn’t make me happier.  I LOVE being the one you seek for comfort.  I love knowing that you look to me to help you meet your needs, that you know I will take care of you.  I love that you are growing and thriving and that I have been able to continue to breastfeed you.  I think that is so special and I feel so accomplished in that task.

I cannot wait to see what the next month holds in store for us.  It seems like each day you are learning something new and it is amazing to watch.  At five months old, you have taught me that my love can be limitless.  At five months old, you have taught me to be a better person.  At five months old, you are teaching me to be the best mom I can be.  I wonder what you will teach me next month?  I can’t wait!!!

I love you, I love you, I love you!

Mommy

I cannot resist your Super-baby Powers! You are the best little 5-month-old EVER!!

Dear Carson

Dear Carson,

Today you are four months old. When you were born, this seemed like forever away…and now here it is. Time has flown by. You are the most amazing little boy. Your Daddy and I love you so much, you have made us a family.

This month, you have really started developing quite the personality. You love to play, you love to try to do mouth farts, and you love talking on the changing table. You have become ticklish, especially in your hips and in your chunky little legs. I love tickling you just to hear your laughter, I think it is the most wonderful sound I have ever heard. You have gotten so big this month and I could get lost in your chubby little neck and chubby little legs.  You continue to amaze me with all the things you can do, like rolling onto your belly already–you are a very strong little boy!

I have to go back to work in just a few more days. I can tell you that this has been the best 4 months of my life. I have literally watched you grow right before my eyes and it has been truly magnificent. I am so sad to have to leave you now, when you get more fun every day. I hope we both can get through this transition. I hope you know somewhere in that little body of yours that I would be with you every second if I could; but since I can’t, I have tried to make the best decisions I possibly could for your care.

Carson, you have made me a better person, you have made my life a better life. I love you so much. I am so anxious to watch you grow, yet I would freeze time if I could so I could enjoy these moments even longer.

I have cherished this special time with you. This next month will be interesting for the both of us as we get used to our new schedule and routine. I look forward to seeing what it has in store for us.

I love you, I love you, I love you!
Mommy